When you hear the word “insecure,” or think about people who are insecure you may automatically think of superficial factors such as beauty, body type and popularity.

Well it’s not that simple. Insecurity is more than thinking you don’t look good. Many times your looks have nothing to do with it at all. Sometimes being insecure is a reflection of the world around you, and not necessarily how you feel about yourself.

Have you ever been let down?

Betrayed?

Lied to?

Bullied?

A victim of abuse in all forms?

Insecurity isn’t a reflection of you as a person, but a reflection of how your environment effects you.

Here are a few reasons people become insecure:

1) Horrible Relationships

And this is not limited to being in a relationship with a significant other. If you aren’t surrounded by quality people who love and look out for you then you may be prone to insecurities.

If you come home from work or school only to be yelled out and belittled you probably will begin to not feel so good about yourself.

But I promise it isn’t your fault, some people just draw the life out of you because of their own unhappiness.

2) Loneliness

Some people feel insecure simply out of loneliness. They could be the most stunningly beautiful people in the world, but if your soul is lonely none of that matters.

Healthy friendships matter and are so important for our sanity and growth. Without this, you’re bound to fall into feeling insecure about yourself as a person.

3) Belief In Your Own Abilities

Maybe you got a bad grade, screwed up that project at work or completely forgot about something you were supposed to be working on. If you’re not careful the demands of life can lead you into insecurity.

Try not to stress too much, we’re all human, we all make mistakes. Just get up and try again and know that your short comings DON’T define you as a person.

What Can You Do To Counter This?

On your good days remind yourself how competent and great you are and on your bad days do the same.

DON’T settle for mean words from ANYONE. This includes friends and family. Real friends and family want to see you happy and prospering, not being defeated.

Figure out unique things about yourself. Find differences in you, that make you, YOU! Fall in love with these differences and build your confidence.

Know the warning signs of toxic people. You may have never had any issues with feeling insecure until a certain person came in your life.

Don’t ignore this! Question why and how they’re able to make you feel this way. You probably need to cut them out of your life for good. Sometimes you really don’t see how bad it is until you get yourself out.

Hopefully this helps you to understand that insecurities are NOT skin deep. They have a deeper hidden layer, and it’s not always about looking in the mirror and not feeling beautiful or good looking.

That’s a very superficial view to have. Sometimes the problem is deeper and with a little thought, you can figure out the cause and work on a way to lift you self back up.