Sorry, I’m not doing what I thought I was. My whole life I’ve dreamed of being in the medical field, so much that in a way I idolized it, going to a career center for nursing, later to land an AWESOME job at Children’s, and a year later get into nursing school! Sounds great right? Living my dreams, fulfilling my purpose?
Except the part where I withdrew from classes mid second semester in the program.
Before you prepare to read a downward spiraling, filled with emotion and dreams but now enough ambition excerpt, let me save you the despair.
I’m free. Sure you wouldn’t think of the medical field as enslavement right? Until you’re there. Nurses, Doctors, Physician assistants and practitioners are awesome people! They’re just not the me I’ve grown into.
I wasn’t the best at nursing school and wasn’t the worst either. First few weeks I studied hard and worked harder for the grades. B average sometimes an A here and there.
Although by the time 2nd semester started I had apparently lost my nursing focusing.
Although it was heart breaking to see the latest grades in my Med Surg and Pharmacology class it started up something different in me.
So I withdrew. OH MY GOODNESS what did I just do? Well to start off I liberated myself from the high pedal stool I set myself on since 14.
I rekindled my love for writing and self expression, and my obsession with psychology.
So I’m a psych major now slash new writer? Awesome.
Although it’s only been a few months I like the freedom, no wait I LOVE the freedom of not having to wake up for crack of dawn clinical days going through the motions of “loving” my profession only to find that it wasn’t a passion just something I was able to do.
So for all of you kind and caring people who asked me why I switched majors, or told me to still pursue nursing, I come to you as humble as I have always been asking that you allow yourself to set free the thoughts you have of me and what is best for me.
I appreciate your well intended questions, intriguing me to push myself further into what path my life should or may take.
I only request that you let me live freely and forget the old me, because I’m not doing what I thought I was.
I’ve set out in a journey to find what moves me, the thing, the passion, the project that I have no power in myself to turn away from, because it was what I was meant to do.